Dreaming of a World

Today's prayer prompt on the devotional cards we are using from Sanctified Art is the question "what is a dream you have for yourself, your church, or your world?" And our good news mantra for today is, "together, we can make a difference." The two together remind me that I often don't remember to include other people in my thinking about my dreams for myself, my church, or my world. But I still need to answer the question what is a dream I have for myself my church or my world. I suppose it's easier to start with the biggest one, the prayer for the world, which of course with all the wars going on it seems important to say I dream of peace, but I know that that also sounds cliche. I'm a trekkie a little bit and I think that we get a vision for the world in Star Trek because races are quite integrated, resources are quite effectively shared, and although we don't see what it's like for people on the fringes the impression given is that they don't have the same level of poverty that people experience in our world today.  So one of my dreams for our world is effectively shared resources and the cessation of all war. A dream I have for my church is that we would be a place where we are enjoying being together celebrating the ways that God is at work in our lives and helping one another similar to what we see in the Acts 2 Church. I can imagine the church where if you're creative you're able to express your creativity, if you're musical you're able to be musical, if you're concerned about a particular kind of Injustice you're able to get people to work with you to make a difference about that. Dreams for myself are a little more tricky because my world just changed dramatically in November and the first thing I think of about this prompt is that Rob dreamed for me to have a chance to be a pastor of a church where we had no qualms about ideology and I could say whatever I wanted. I don't know exactly what he imagined that would look like but I know that he did express a wish that we would get to a point or that I would get to a church that was entirely inclusive. I suppose I also dream of a church where we spend less time on meetings and maybe even less time on worship in a formal sense and more time on engaging one another and spiritual conversations and engaging our community, but I don't really know exactly what that looks like. Then it occurs to me that I have now answered the dream for myself with a dream for my church which cracks me up. Okay so dreams for myself are more complicated. And foggy and vague I suppose my perfect world is one in which I would be able to be with my kids and grandkids and parents and siblings (sibling - I only have one) regularly frequently and able to do music and art and preaching and teaching and maybe some architecturing or remodeling or I don't know... anyway there we go.

Thanks be to God. 

Random Story

Before we had kids, my husband Rob and I were the youth leaders at our church.  Well, actually, Rob was.  I was more like his executive assistant.  Anyway, one year, we took a group of teenagers on a Habitat for Humanity mission trip to Tijuana, Mexico.  The mission was to build houses in an area where people were living on a trash dump in structures that were cobbled together from items scrounged from the dump.  Habitat had already built half a dozen houses that were just four walls and a roof.  The floors were dirt.  Our group was asked to paint the outsides of each structure.  Nobody got any training or orientation. They simply handed us brushes and cans of paint.

We were all city people. We had no idea how anybody survived in places like this.  And nobody explained why each new house had a plastic drum full of water on one corner.  When it was time to finish up, one of the kids decided to wash the paint brushes in one of those drums of water.  It turns out that those drums were positioned to catch the rain running off the roof, and those were their only source of water.  Oops.

Looking back, it's amazing to me how ignorant I was.  I'd like to think we'd have known better if we went now, and would have asked our Habitat liaison how to handle the project more sensitively.  Honestly, though, I don't have the energy for that sort of mission trip now anyway.  And I wonder if it would be that easy to get there and get back anymore.

Redo Redo Redo

Photo by benjamin lehman on Unsplash

Redo is my star word for this year.  It's the sort of word that seems obvious at first.  Do over.  It's a fairly foundational theological concept.  Our God is a God of redemption and redoing.  Jesus is our redo.  But there's still the how, what, why, and when to figure out.  

So I've been mulling things over quite a bit.  My life is in redo mode because my husband of almost 45 years died last November.  Partly because of that, my house is getting some redos in the kitchen and other places that needed help.

One of my redos is that I am now for the first time ever, at 62 years old, fully in charge and responsible for all my own decisions.  I can consult, but I don't have to ask about spending money or going places.  I just do it.  It feels quite freeing and also quite STRANGE!

That's my big aha so far. I can redo whatever I want to redo!

Thanks, God!

Keep on Seeking

 

Photo by Marek Piwnicki on Unsplash

About 20 years ago, I was kind of obsessed with this promise in Deuteronomy that Moses made to the people as they were about to go into the Promised Land:

Deuteronomy 4:29
But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.

It's comforting...and yet there are caveats.  IF you look with all your heart and all your soul.  IF you seek God. Does this work for everyone?  It seems sometimes like it does not.  Maybe it just for the people to whom Moses was talking?

So I did a search through the Bible for the word "seek" and found the following verses. Not all of them are about seeking in the same sense as Deuteronomy.  Some of them don't have the word "seek" but they're still about seeking God.

Despite this body of evidence from the Bible, I was still hesitant to tell people about this promise from God of being found.  I'd heard people say that they had sought God for years and never found him.  I'd also heard people say they didn't believe there was any God to be sought, and God sought them.  I've since learned that experiencing God is different for everyone, and we shouldn't expect it to be the same. In whatever way you find God, I hope you know that God's love is for you.

1 Chronicles 16:10-11
Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice.  Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.

1 Chronicles 22:19
Now devote your heart and soul to seeking the LORD your God.

1 Chronicles 28:9
"And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever.”

2 Chronicles 7:14
if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

2 Chronicles 15:2
He went out to meet Asa and said to him, "Listen to me, Asa and all Judah and Benjamin. The LORD is with you when you are with him. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you.

2 Chronicles 15:12-13
They entered into a covenant to seek the LORD, the God of their fathers, with all their heart and soul. All who would not seek the LORD, the God of Israel, were to be put to death, whether small or great, man or woman.

Psalm 9:10
Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Psalm 14:2
The LORD looks down from heaven on the sons of men to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God.

Psalm 22:26
The poor will eat and be satisfied; they who seek the LORD will praise him— may your hearts live forever!

Psalm 24:3-6

3 Who may ascend the hill of the LORD ?
       Who may stand in his holy place?

4 He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
       who does not lift up his soul to an idol
       or swear by what is false. ^[a]

5 He will receive blessing from the LORD
       and vindication from God his Savior.

6 Such is the generation of those who seek him,
       who seek your face, O God of Jacob. ^[b]

Psalm 40:16
But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation always say, "The LORD be exalted!"

Psalm 53:2
God looks down from heaven on the sons of men to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God.

Psalm 63:1
[ A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah. ] O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

Psalm 69:6
May those who hope in you not be disgraced because of me, O Lord, the LORD Almighty; may those who seek you not be put to shame because of me, O God of Israel.

Psalm 69:32
The poor will see and be glad— you who seek God, may your hearts live!

Psalm 70:4
But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation always say, "Let God be exalted!"

Psalm 105:3-4
Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice.  Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.

Psalm 119:2
Blessed are they who keep his statutes and seek him with all their heart.

Proverbs 8:17
I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.

Proverbs 11:27
He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.

Proverbs 15:14
The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly.

Proverbs 28:5
Evil men do not understand justice, but those who seek the LORD understand it fully.

Isaiah 51

Everlasting Salvation for Zion

1 "Listen to me, you who pursue righteousness
       and who seek the LORD :
       Look to the rock from which you were cut
       and to the quarry from which you were hewn;

2 look to Abraham, your father,
       and to Sarah, who gave you birth.
       When I called him he was but one,
       and I blessed him and made him many.

3 The LORD will surely comfort Zion
       and will look with compassion on all her ruins;
       he will make her deserts like Eden,
       her wastelands like the garden of the LORD.
       Joy and gladness will be found in her,
       thanksgiving and the sound of singing.

Isaiah 55:5-7 (New International Version)

5 Surely you will summon nations you know not,
       and nations that do not know you will hasten to you,
       because of the LORD your God,
       the Holy One of Israel,
       for he has endowed you with splendor."

6 Seek the LORD while he may be found;
       call on him while he is near.

7 Let the wicked forsake his way
       and the evil man his thoughts.
       Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him,
       and to our God, for he will freely pardon.

Isaiah 65:1
[ Judgment and Salvation ] "I revealed myself to those who did not ask for me; I was found by those who did not seek me. To a nation that did not call on my name, I said, 'Here am I, here am I.'

Isaiah 65:10
Sharon will become a pasture for flocks, and the Valley of Achor a resting place for herds, for my people who seek me.

Jeremiah 26:19
"Did Hezekiah king of Judah or anyone else in Judah put him to death? Did not Hezekiah fear the LORD and seek his favor? And did not the LORD relent, so that he did not bring the disaster he pronounced against them? We are about to bring a terrible disaster on ourselves!"

Jeremiah 29:7
Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper."

Jeremiah 29:13
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 50:4
"In those days, at that time," declares the LORD, "the people of Israel and the people of Judah together will go in tears to seek the LORD their God.

Lamentations 3:25
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;

Hosea 10:12
Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the LORD, until he comes and showers righteousness on you.

Amos 5:4
This is what the LORD says to the house of Israel: "Seek me and live;

Amos 5:6
Seek the LORD and live, or he will sweep through the house of Joseph like a fire; it will devour, and Bethel will have no one to quench it.

Amos 5:14
Seek good, not evil, that you may live. Then the LORD God Almighty will be with you, just as you say he is.

Zephaniah 2:3
Seek the LORD, all you humble of the land, you who do what he commands. Seek righteousness, seek humility; perhaps you will be sheltered on the day of the LORD's anger.

Zephaniah 3:17  (not about seeking but since I was already in Zephaniah...)

17 The LORD your God is with you,
       he is mighty to save.
       He will take great delight in you,
       he will quiet you with his love,
       he will rejoice over you with singing."

Malachi 3:1
"See, I will send my messenger, who will prepare the way before me. Then suddenly the Lord you are seeking will come to his temple; the messenger of the covenant, whom you desire, will come," says the LORD Almighty.

Matthew 6:33
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Matthew 7:7-8
[ Ask, Seek, Knock ] "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”

Luke 11:9-10
"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Luke 12:31
But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

Luke 19:10
For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost."

John 4:23
Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.

Acts 15

16" 'After this I will return
      and rebuild David's fallen tent.
   Its ruins I will rebuild,
      and I will restore it,
 17that the remnant of men may seek the Lord,
      and all the Gentiles who bear my name,
   says the Lord, who does these things'^[a]
 18 that have been known for ages.^[b]

 Acts 17:26-28 (New International Version)

From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. 'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.'

Romans 2:6-8 (New International Version)

God "will give to each person according to what he has done."^[a] To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger.

1 Corinthians 7:27
Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife.

1 Corinthians 10:24
Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.

1 Corinthians 13:5
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Galatians 2:17
"If, while we seek to be justified in Christ, it becomes evident that we ourselves are sinners, does that mean that Christ promotes sin? Absolutely not!

Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

1 Peter 3:10-12 (New International Version)

10 For, "Whoever would love life
      and see good days
   must keep his tongue from evil
      and his lips from deceitful speech.
 11 He must turn from evil and do good;
      he must seek peace and pursue it.
 12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
      and his ears are attentive to their prayer,
   but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil."^[a]

James 4:8 

Draw near to God and he will draw near to you.

Collecting Star Words

Maybe some people ditch their star word* at the end of the year and move on, but mine linger and mingle and hang out with the new word and all the other old ones. 

Today I am reminded of "acceptance," the word I had several years ago. I knew back then that it was a part of grieving, something we were all doing a bit of during the pandemic.  Now that I understand grieving in a horrible new way, I am beginning to understand acceptance a bit more. Today it feels like peace and gratitude and a breath of respite. 

I was thinking more yesterday about "enthusiasm," my 2025 word. It has helped me to make better choices about what I do and don't spend time and energy on. If enthusiasm is en Theos, Holy Spirit inspired, then I will pay more attention to the things that are inspired or inspiring, and not force myself to do the things that aren't. 

"Aspire" is another word that has continued to be influential, though it has morphed into the word "dream." I use "dream" to start Wordle to remind myself to keep dreaming and hoping and trusting that God is holding all of that and me.

"Guidance" was my word the very first year we got star words. It helped me make some big decisions and gave me the courage to ask for guidance. I'm sure I will need to keep on with that practice.

I had forgotten until just now that one year my word was "advent." 'Tis the season we're in now (ending tonight). This word helped me find Isaiah 60:22 that says, "When the time is right, I, the Lord, will make it happen." It's a powerful promise, and one I’ve learned to trust more and more.

Thanks, God. 

Pic by Aaron Burden on Unsplash 

*A spiritual practice inspired by the story in Matthew's gospel of the magi following the star to Bethlehem when Jesus was born. 

Star Word 2025

Photo by Ales Krivec on Unsplash

It has become my tradition to write a post at the beginning and end of each year about that year's star word. This year's post is the hardest yet.  My word for this year was enthusiasm, a word I didn't want because I was still healing from depression and burn out.

The word is defined as "intense and eager enjoyment, interest, or approval."  That definition wasn't surprising, but the word's origin is:

Mid 16th century (in enthusiasm (sense 2 of the noun)): via late Latin enthusiasmus ‘inspiration, frenzy’ from Greek enthousiasmos, from enthousiazein ‘be inspired or possessed by a god’ (based on theos ‘god’).

So literally en theos or in God, or, to take it a step further, in Christ, who makes his home in us through the Holy Spirit. All that sounds a lot like my good old f.r.o.g. Fully rely on God.

It's tempting to say that I already know this one, nothing new here, except that I have learned over this past year that I can even trust that God's got me in hand when I'm not able to do much about it.  I'm not up for the intensity of worship and prayer that characterized my faith ten to fifteen years ago, or even three to five years ago. I've had to learn to trust that I really only need to "be still and know that he is God."

"Be still and know..." are the words on the wall of my office, the same wall that shows in the background when I'm in meetings on Zoom, which means those words are also behind me whenever I Zoom with my therapist or spiritual director.  Both of them have pointed them out to me on occasion, ironically.

Both the therapist and the spiritual director have also pointed out my enthusiasm.  I hadn't noticed, but when I talk about something for which I have enthusiasm, my face brightens.  I thought I wasn't being enthusiastic about anything, but they showed me otherwise.

A few weeks ago my husband died.  I didn't expect to be able to have enthusiasm about much of anything after that, but it turns out I still do get inspired about having engaged conversations with people, and I still enjoy talking about the book I know the best, the Bible, and the main character(s) God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.  Thankfully, since that's my job.

So I'm gonna keep on being still and knowing, and enjoying the enthusiasm when it comes.

Thanks, God.

Birthdays

 

Photo by Isabella Fischer on Unsplash

This week I turned 62.  I suppose it’s time to make peace with the reality that I’m in my sixties now and into the third trimester of life.  I don’t feel old, really, but my body does.  We don’t need to talk about that.

It’s a odd point in life. Am I gearing up for the next season or planning for retirement?  It’s too early to retire but too late to start planning for it financially.  Isn’t that weird?

I haven’t done everything I’ve wanted to do.  I’ve thought about taking some classes and learning how to do some things better or learn how to do some new things, but not seriously enough to actually take steps in that direction.

When Rob and I were in our 20s, an older gentleman at our church took us to lunch and told us about his three careers, all of which required going back to school.  He was a lawyer, an architect, and . . . well, I don’t remember what the third thing was . . . but his point was that we don’t have to feel stuck in just one track.  I suppose I’m in track two right now, so maybe I need to be looking for track three?  That sounds like a lot of work, to be honest.

The other piece of advice we got from that gentleman was to never miss a chance to pee.  We thought that was hilarious at the time, but it’s turned out to be the best advice ever.  Just so you know.

But, about being 62, I’m still so often just tired.  The way ahead is unclear.  The one lesson I hope I have learned well over the past five years is that God will make the way clear in due time.  Meanwhile, wait and watch and keep checking in with God.

So, God, here I am, checking in again.

Still waiting.  Being still.  Knowing you are God.

Thanks, God.